A Tale of Two Semesters (Part I)

It was the worst of times, it was the worster of times.

There are too many things learned this semester (academic and otherwise) to cram into one post. Some things were purely academic: drospirenone posses anti-mineralocorticoid activity. Other things were more practical: child are not horny (according to Dr. Master of Disguise as well as the District Attorney). We even learned important lessons about who not to piss off, including people who can make bar graphs as well as women named "Jimmy." We learned far too late that a certain faculty member was a Tank Commander in the German Army -- months after I imitated him on stage at a bar. We even learned an important lesson about the optimal speed of cheating and the price of being too damn good (I carry it like my personal wooden cross, I assure you).

But did we learn about being a pharmacist? Of this I am not certain. My confusion on this includes a semester of "Touching With Medical Intent," where I learned how to properly spoon my patient, what to do in the (oh so "unfortunate") event that I have to do a heart exam on a patient with large breasteses, and how jealous Charlie's wife can be over a little lung exam (I did it with medical intent, okay?). Did you know that you can feel tactile fremitus just as easily if the patient says "ninety nine" or "Daddy's name"? This is the new age of pharmacy apparently, we're combining "Total Pharmaceutical Care," "Patient Care," and "Touching the shit out of patients."

Inevitably we also have to draw conclusions as to how this year has been a tale of "same shit, different roof." The new building gave us significant lebensraum, and told us important lessons about how often a floor can be buffed (three times daily it appears). Having more SPE rooms just lead to not being able to educate all the patients sufficiently to write a coherent SPE. Being able to digitally film SPE's led to the lab faculty taping an empty room for the period of Friday afternoon to Monday morning. Having brand new A/V equipment just led to someone fucking it with it and that inevitably led to our IT department not caring (what the fuck else do they do?).

But at least we can now accommodate larger egos more comfortably in the lecture halls and Speedway is accessible between classes if I want to continue to corrode my GI tract.

I MADE THIS 'Awesome' FOR YOU: