CRAPPE II

You knew it coming in. You had no doubt coming into the CRAPPE info session that this would be as dyfunctional as me the monday night after blocks. But why? Is it only because the CRAPPE uno lived up to it's acronym (Completely Retarded Application of Pisspoor Pharmacy Education)? No, not entirely. The fact that it takes five people to pull off a twenty five minute info session should have been enough for you to solve this mystery pretty fast, Scooby. But are my standards unfair? Not really. After all, I expect a team of five people to have their collective shit together enough to answer more than two questions -- dos, due, zwei, dwa, 贰, た -- without the mother of all e-mails. The fact that they had to just send you an e-mail explaining every single concept that differs from CRAPPE Uno should beg the question "Why did we even have this in the first place?".

But Mr. R really stole the show for me, and it wasn't just the difficulty he had grasping how something being due tomorrow doesn't really constitute a "couple of days." It was his adorable "And you guys can just read this slide to yourselves" followed by 15 awkward seconds of silence.


"But sir, you must read the slide to us. It's the only
way we know how to learn anymore"
Oh, and if you didn't get the memo from the three of the five stooges that told you so -- this computer they're using to place us is really sophisticated. Y'know, like it tastes fine wine and uses them fancy Japanese toilets that squirt your butt clean. It probably even has a monocle.


"This doesn't seem quite right"
That's because computers don't pee or need monocles, duh (and I have to use the above picture as often as possible). So how sophisticated is this computer? From what I can gather it can run a simple algorithm you could probably run on your cell phone that will place me in an area such as "The eastern fourth of the state." Yeah, real sophisticated -- remember when we used paper and I could write in what city I wanted? That was apparently a goddamn caveman's way to place students. Sorry CRAPPE faculty, Daddy doesn't have the time or patience to drive all over creation because your wine-sipping high-browed machinery places students randomly in areas as large as some other entire states. This is exactly why I'm sending them the actual cities I want to be placed in and their erudite computer can sit in the corner and quietly sip Chardonnay, read The New Yorker, and actually understand the comics.


Because I seriously don't get New Yorker comics,
I'm apparently too much of a simpleton
Awesome related to the fact that you know all of the above is truth: