Judge, Jury, Executioner

Maybe this is it. Maybe, just maybe this is the end of the rabbit hole. I sure hope it is, because everytime Dr. Richter addresses us as a class anymore I find myself holding my water bottle up to the light, inspecting it for LSD. I mean, sometimes I think it would make more sense to believe I'm just tripping my balls off than to think this is real life. Exhibit A played itself out today in lecture when he professed the importance of every sacred moment of his lecture and that we now have to find extra time to get another professionalism lecture from him. Where the fuck was this novel concept when we were being pulled from therapeutics, lab, and Dr. Whitesnake? I suppose those classes are a notch lower on the totem pole when compared to "Blowing smoke up Dr. Richter's ass." To be fair, some of us didn't play his game and told him how shit really was. However that ended with him putting sternly worded letters in your "permanent record" -- a term I haven't heard bandied about since elementary school.

In fact, the severity of your punishment and the sternness of his words were clearly inversely proportional to the amount of smoke you blew up his ass. There were some folks where he did everything short of tie a noose around their scrotum and throw them out his office window, and others where he said things like "don't be so hard on yourself," and "don't let this hang over your head, Dozer" (I'm paraphrasing). Then today he gave the revelation that he's going to reach out and dock points from people that he didn't even interview. Judge, jury and executioner, much? No wonder we're all tired of his shit


Even Betty White
So, based on this we know that he already knew what he was dinging you for before you even walked in -- he's just going to "take a little off the top" for people who he's not even talking to. But if he knew what he was going to do before you walked in the door, what was the point? They clearly were inconsequential in the end, because he let the secret out today that he's judge, jury, and executioner. Were they so that he could squeeze in another professionalism lecture? Clearly not, he's not giving it to everyone he feels cheated and he's going so far as to give us another one as a group.

And as much as I wish I'd played hardball with him, I have to confess that I decided it'd be more fun to play his game by his rules (and I've got the golden fiddle to show for it). The only thing I was very fortunate for is the fact that the person sitting in on my interview was someone I've spoke less than a dozen words to. If it were anyone else they'd have likely just reached across Dr. Richter's desk and slapped me upside the head. Instead, I piled it high, layed it down thick, and slung it with a shovel. You know what they say:


Awesome: