Phasing Out

Its a common theme within this university, and especially within this college that they are run exclusively as research institutions that teach in their backyard as a kind of hobby. Students who get short-changed out of (more and more expensive) educations on a daily basis know too well the danger of basically operating a Waffle House by selling Lobsters. I'm paying $20K a year to this "Waffle House" and I want quality waffles goddammit. Are Colleges and Universities not places of education? Well based on my experience, they sure the fuck aren't or our's isn't being run like one.

Now, many things have happened through the summer that I (as the apparent makeshift bourbon-driven COP media) have failed to cover. There was the fact that now we're no longer getting letter grades for our PY4 rotations, a classic dick-move designed to deflate your grades to be far below those of Clown College COP graduates so that not only is the workforce no longer facing a shortage, but you'll be entering it with a GPA less than the folks who pussied out and went to Clown College for their PharmD. They just don't make a Hallmark card for this kind of dickery. As a side note: did they tell us they were doing this directly? Fuck no, it was announced at some professional organization's annual conference -- thaaaaaaaaaanks.

However, I could simply graze over the most recent episode of dickery in the same fashion, but it's not that simple because it's one of those moments that wish's I had a boy scout medal for "Exemplary Actions in Dickery" that I could pin on their lapel -- they've really earned it. We've all known for a long, long time now that what we say and do to express our disgust at how this institution is being run and how we're being taught falls on deaf ears. Specifically, I almost think the entire point of digitizing teacher reviews was to make it easier to destroy them -- pressing the 'delete' button is infinitely faster than chucking them into a large garbage pail (I think my hopes and dreams of being a pharmacist may be in the same trash receptacle by this point).

As it turns out, they also respond in the same manner to our awarding Dr. L the outstanding teacher award in a democratic fashion -- they're getting rid of her. Soak that one up for a second: the one professor who managed to stay in our collective good graces (though not my personal graces) for most of our entire tenure so far is being canned. But because they let her teach every damn class under the sun, they actually can't just can her outright, they have to phase her out over the next few years because so much material will have to be re-wikipedia'd to replace her.


You know it's true.
But why is she being "phased out"? For starters "Phasing out" is a far gentler term than "rewarding good performance by taking your livelihood." But she was paid out of a cauldron of money (the COP is now moving to such cartoonish villainry that I can only assume they keep money in a cauldron) generated by other professor's grant money. In other words, the entire department of PPS gave itself a collective raise by eliminating one of the few faculty members that even tries to teach anymore. They might as well hang a new sign outside the new COP that says

PFIZER MIDSOUTH RESEARCH LABORATORIES
(teaching in rear)

Because that's how it's fucking run.

Awesome: