Where's the hidden camera, you guys have to be shittin' me

Today I got another prescription from the Mud Creek Clinic -- or as I call it "The Pinnacle of Medicine Today." It was an E-script, so grip your seat tightly -- its going to be a fucking adventure as it always is. The contestant (drug) on today's episode of "Your doctor sucks at his job " is Lactulose solution 10g/15mL. The directions: 1 ORAL EACH DAY. I shit you not -- its a SOLUTION. So yeah, its dosed a certain way -- one tablespoon each day. Easy enough right? So I check the dude's profile and what do you know, he's been bouncing randomly between tablespoon and teaspoon for over a year. I'm assuming he's not three times more constipated and then normal constipated again, and then three times more constipated again -- so dial up the Mecca of Medicine, whatthehellsgoinon? After 5 seconds with the receptionist who answered the phone, I sufficiently blew her mind and she ran to get the doctor.

"Teaspoon? Tablespoon? What dialect of moon-language is this medicine man from KMart Pharmacy speaking?"

Then the doctor picks up the tele -- glory day, there's hope for this patient yet. I explained the situation to him, and he says -- I shit you not "Oh, thats a liquid," as if he's informing me of some concept that is foreign to me, "it should be a tablespoonful."

Sweet. I'll let the smartassedness slide -- I got what I wanted. "Thanks Doctor C!"

And as he's hanging up the phone I clearly hear him say "Yes, one teaspoonful should be fine."

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

Where's the hidden camera? Ashton come out, this is getting ridiculous. Do you mean to tell me this tardfaced MD doesn't get the difference between teaspoon and tablespoon? Clearly he uses them interchangeably -- he did so within 5 seconds of eachother. So what am I to do? I elected to take the "Jesus take the wheel" approach to healthcare and do it my fucking way -- the right way.

Today's awesome content is straight from my scanner, and from your newspaper (the Lexington Herald-Leader). Most of you probably realize that the NBA Finals game went so late that it barely made press time, so what happens then? Obviously the article never gets proofread, because it was written by Me. You're welcome, associated press -- glad to see I'm finally getting some credit: