Stop being a douche.

So on my over-a-mile walk to class this morning Steve Erenas rolled up to an intersection I was crossing at on his bike and took one look at me and said "Did you get my e-mail?" and then "I need to see you in my office later."

Given my tendencies, I assumed I was going to walk in and he would pull a 47 page archive of my facebook statuses with asterisks beside the offensive ones, and smilies besides the ones he found jolly...Or he could pull out all 40-something Pharmtard Anonymous posts, or he could have footage of me leaving the shelves at Liquor Barn bare -- I didn't really know. But its fairly clear when someone just says to meet them in their office with no indication of what you're responsible for -- its something bad.

So, as stated in my status, the tattle squad is patrolling facebook statuses right now. Steve wanted to talk with me about one (phew, thats about 83 fewer than I thought it would be) particular status from May that was deleted. If you ever feel the urge to report something on my facebook or on this blog to someone (Steve/Patti,/Deantobeannounced), here's a numbered list of suggestions for you:

1. Stop being a douche.

2. Tell me that what I wrote was offensive. The status from May was deleted the very day it was posted because someone was offended and they told me about it. If I wanted to be an ass about it, I would have left it up and detective Steve Erenas would arrive at the scene 3 months too late.

3. Consider why you're even offended. If I took all 365 days of statuses and shoved them under the nose of every pharmtard in our class -- the chances are most of them would be offended by at least one of them. Maybe it rubbed you the wrong way, and no one else. The status that someone was offended by was a movie quote, and if you haven't watched the movie you probably don't even get it and thus are offended.

4. Find better uses for your worthless time. I don't particularly enjoy sitting across from Steve Erenas and explaining why you didn't get what I wrote. Granted, it isn't easy to explain this given that virtually everything I write is irreverent hyperbole laced with slang, profanity, good-humored-insults, and a little bit of sunshine. Your farts may smell like daisies, but that doesn't mean everyone else's world has whip cream and cherries on top like yours.

Other pharmtards: you've been officially warned about the tattle squad

Awesome:


P.S. FYI I'm probably going to post more days than I won't, so I'm going to just stop shamelessly plugging in my facebook status.

P.P.S. I'm not going to post or message the status in question to anyone because I'm not fond of incriminating myself.