Great Moments in Talking About Dicks (Part I)

There are always things that I snort and chuckle at in a Dr. L lecture, but they're rarely this overt. For example, today she had a slide with drugs and they're effects on erections comparing cocaine, hallucinogens, marijuana, alcohol, and ethanol. Surprisingly ethanol and alcohol were very similar, but ethanol is biphasic while alcohol isn't. Really? I wonder how cocaine compares to blow? What about the intricate differences in heroin and smack? And when asked about how exactly hyperprolactinemia plays into erectile dysfunction she replied that "it's one of those endocrine disorders." Really?


Did she just restate the name of the class?
But beyond the lesser-chuckled-at offenses, there's way too much to talk about to contain in one entry so I'm splitting this one up. For starters there's the Vacuum Erection Device

Astroglide included, not available in "Magnum"
The funniest thing about this one is probably the onset: 30 fucking minutes! How do you work that one into your agenda? "Be right back in 30 minutes, ladies..." and then run off to the closet? Do you call a 30 minute "foreplay timeout"? Hell, how do you even counsel a patient on a device like this? I know I'd be calling my man the "informative pamphlet" up off the bench.


Figure 1.1
Then there's PGE injections...in your junk. Which has low patient acceptance, presumably because there's something weird about stabbing yourself in the genitals? Who knew! And if that doesn't work, you can shove pellets up your urethra. Do doctors get bonus points for how far up on the pain scale patients go? Lets go ahead and break out what should be one of the "Ten Commandments of Medicine": If the treatment of the disorder feels like gonorrhea, it's hardly a treatment.

Awesome related to all of the contagious penis-wincing taking place today:


Have fun in Vegas and at the Mingle. I'll be posting the follow-up on penile implants tomorrow (read as: the weirder half)