Schools of philosophy

There are two schools of philosophy within the COP, or Lab specifically, that I refuse to subscribe to. One of these I've blogged about before: the one where we pretend our patient eats crayons and isn't capable of using the adult scissors. Y'know, the one where Dr. F was a fake patient and acted all confused when a tard said "lay on the ground." Thats a bit much -- if a patient were to seriously interpret that as "go outside and lay on the grass," I'd assume they needed more than me counseling them on how to insert their vaginal suppository. I give my patients credit for basic human intelligence -- be pissed at me.

I assumed the other school of philosophy was a PY1 phenomenon but I'm starting to see it bleed over now. This is the thought that you should spend exuberant amounts of time mining your patient for extraneous information that in no way relates to the problem at hand. Mild example: asking your patient if they're allergic to any medications when you're not going to recommend a product. It's good form, but still extraneous. More examples: I got counted off on for not asking for the dose/route/frequency of her birth control. Really? Let me show you how clairvoyant I am: she swallows one of them shits daily. You get the picture.

I don't know why I'm so silly -- I guess I operate on the principle that "Lab is just like the real world". I don't know where I'd get such a silly idea from, either. As it applies to our last SPE, I invoked the Vanilla Ice school of philosophy.


If there was a problem, yo I'd solve it

I.e. I had a patient with a problem, and I solved it while gathering relevant information. I didn't screw around and ask her how much she bench pressed or anything else to just cloud the diagnosis. I fixed the problem -- give me my damn points.

Awesome: